ROLEPLAY

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[OOC]: in response to the greatest story never told. [/OOC]

It had been a long day. A long day of attempted hunting, mocking Binarabi, playing 'find the Kalreeg' while avoiding super-guards, and medic packs... lot's of medic packs.
Around 3 weeks had passed since my operation and the scars were healing nicely. My new foof was looking good and i felt like a real Homina for the first time in my life. The only thing i needed to do now was procure some feminine underwear.
My standard issue zorai underwear was nice but it's not very flattering and i wanted to show off after all. What is the most revealing of all atys's under garments? Yep. Matis.

I'd seen Marichia around on numerous occasions but had never actually plucked up the courage to introduce myself. It could be said that i followed her around briefly and one could also suggest that i may have stalked her. I prefer to think of it as education. I mean, how else am i to fully understand what it is to be female if i don't watch and learn?

For one reason or another, I knew where Marichia lived. Finding myself outside her apartment, somehow, i noticed that she had put her washing out to dry in the afternoon sun. Seventeen sets of underwear!! Seventeen!! She wouldn't miss one, right? Of course not.
I discretely plucked a red pair from the line when, out of nowhere, Altyra appeared.

"Marceline!!" she screamed. "What the crap you doing?!"

'Aww bugger' i thought. How would i explain this to someone that was unaware of my innocent intentions? My only option was to make a mad dash and hope for the best. I knew I was in the right but i couldn't explain myself monosyllabically enough for Altyra to understand.
Unfortunately for me, Altyra's voice had been shrill enough to attrack the attention of Marichia who now decided that she was going to give chase. This was a less than ideal situation.
So there i was running for what an outsider would presume was my life. In the distance i could see Lacuna and Spettra. 'This is just great' i thought as i neared them. I had no other direction to run in and in my haste i didn't see Spettra gently edge her foot into my path. 
I hit the floor with hard thud but managed to get back to my feet just in time to see a mace flying towards me. I dodged and unsheathed my sword. I put up good fight but my heart was racing and my groin was throbbing. I looked down to inspect my dressing and it was lucky i did because i noticed a subtle grin on Lacuna's face... that grin meant only one thing. War.
Two of them on me. I fought valiantly but two maces against one sword was just too much to handle. They proceeded to cruelly bash at my arms and legs. Thankfully, because the maces are fairly hard to handle, my two attackers missed quite a lot. Sadly, one swing did hit and my vest buckle came undone revealing my bra.
I couldn't explain this one... now i was in trouble.



[OOC:] this is the completely romanticized version of the events. 103% accurate. [/OOC:]

[OOC LMAO]

Marceline, stop telling LIES.  You are a notorious pantie thief.  This was far from the first time you purlioned an innocent homine's undergraments.  Further, I know it was your fat ass that ripped my favourite dress!  We also know you bribed Altyra to help with this theft, so stop trying to cover up for her!

[OOC- Related in a desperate bid to untarnish my reputation]

I had noticed the odd perambulative style of the strange Zorai as she (he?) navigated the camp. Curiousity got the better of me, so one day as she minced up to the stables, I "accidentally" ran over her foot with my slightly obese mek to facilitate a meeting. "Where did you get your licence to ride that thing?" shouted the now somewhat bruised Zorai. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" I lied, "put your foot up and I'll have a look at the damage." I'll admit that the foul language sprayed in my direction as I bandaged her slightly dented toe was unfit for the ears of any homin, and the excessive shrieking was unbecoming of one seeking acceptance as a homine. Three small fractures and she was behaving like a cup-cake!

She told me her name was Marceline and related the tale of her path to enlightenment. I felt a bit sorry for her to be honest- her awkward gait was very unfeminine, she moved like a 3 legged bodoc! She needed education in how to walk, talk and dress, so for a VERY small fee (I have overheads too!) I offered to show her where Marichia lived.

What followed was alarming to say the least..............Marceline was there ALL the time! Watching Marichia's every move like a hungry ragus, drooling all over the place and constantly trying to peek through the curtains. To be honest, I was starting to question her intentions. So when I saw the Zorai lingering with intent near the clothes-line, I watched long enough to see her deftly swipe a pair of Marichia's favourite undies and naturally, I raised the alarm. Now, it is common knowledge that a Matis and her underwear shall ne'er be parted.................................

As it appears that i am subject to gross slander and misrepresentation, I feel it necessary to clear a few things up:
• I would never bride another homin or homina. The exchange of dappers to gain what one wants it a perfectly natural and above-board transaction.
•I am not a cupcake and/or precious. The fractures were extensive and required urgent medical care.
•I may have a mild lurch to my stride but you're all just jealous of my angelic pins!
•I may have 'borrowed' some panties, yes, but i would have given them back... probably washed.

I include here some pictures to further defend my good name.

Firstly. Here is an image of Altyra mercilessly threatening me with her sharp shooter. This was the moment she warned me that if i so much as whispered about her fetish for Matis boys, she would not hesitate to aim somewhat lower than my head.
whoops!



Second. This image clearly shows my procured red panties. Anyone want to claim ownership to these beauties? Thought not. Panty theif claims; debunked.
In this image you can see Altyra clearly thinking twice about her slanderous remarks while Virg chews on freshly roasted Shooki nuts.




And finally. The claims that i have a "fat arse". May this image prove my devotion to the squats and the rear end of a dedicated Homina. While it may look like digust on the face of Binarabi, it is in fact envy. i can assure you.



Friends, i thank you for taking time to read and believe my side of the story. I knew you'd take my side. It's been a long hard road but with time and optimism, we shall prevail and be once again be united Homina's!

Kind regards,

Marce.


[OOC: I've really no idea where I'm going with this.]

ooc

it's good for a laugh, and it's more fun then some of the serious RP stuff (thought there's much of those that i follow as well)

ooc

that arse is looking a little flabby to me.

(ooc)

look a rollocks, he does exsist.

Of course I do.