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[OOC This is a tale told by an unreliable narrator, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.]

It was no use.  She had followed the recipe exactly and had done everything that Binarabi had done, and still it had not worked.  It was so frustrating.  She was positive that she had made no mistakes.  She had spent days practising and still she was no nearer in getting the mix of ingredients right.  Maybe she had made a mistake when she wrote down the recipe?  No. This wasn’t possible, she had watched Bina make the recipe very carefully, and everything that Bina did was there.  She was certain that she has written down the exact quantities.  But something must be missing.  This was the 10th attempt, and she was still no nearer in getting it right.  Either the recipe was wrong, the quantities were mixed up, or somehow Bina had done something that she had missed while she watched her demonstrate the recipe.  Lacuna looked over at Bones as he happily ate his way through a second large plate of lasagne.  Lacuna wanted to scream.  It was so unfair.  He should have writhing in agony by now, unable to scream as his insides were eaten away by the caustic goo.  There was no denying it; she had messed up cooking Binarabi’s signature lasagne again.  
    The top was a light golden colour not burned charcoal.  The white sauce was creamy and smooth with not a lump in sight.  The pasta was perfectly cooked and not dry as oath bark, and worse there were no evil looking crunchy black bits in the ragu.  How did Bina do it?  How could one trykerette turn a simple dish into a war crime?  Lacuna has always envied Binarabi’s cooking skills: it took true genius to turn cooking into a martial art.  There was nothing for it, she would just have to start all over again.  She threw the nearest saucepan at Bones; the satisfying clunk that signified the Matis male being knocked unconscious brought a small smile to her face.
    Marchia looked pensively at her sister.  ‘Perhaps you are going a little over the top in getting revenge on Gasket and Ghuiss?  Fair enough, kill them.  But this?  It is… well… a bit vindictive?’
      Lacuna gave Marchia a puzzled look.  ‘I know it was them that trampled ALL OVER my flower beds!!!!!’
    Marichia could almost see the excessive trail of exclamation marks floating through the air and thought it wiser not to point out that the patch of weeds Lacuna took to be her flower bed had died months ago, after a few weeks of Lacuna’s tender care.  That might just get her ranting about forgotten birthday’s again.  How anyone was meant to to remember Lacuna’s birthday when she just randomly decided when it was herself, she had no idea.    
    ‘How did you manage to get the recipe from Bina?  Wasn’t she suspicious that you wanted cooking lessons from her?  She is, after all, rather infamous in the culinary department.’
    ‘Oh I just told her that I would give her cooking lessons.  I made her show me exactly how she would make one so I could see what she was doing wrong.’
    ‘And you are sure you haven’t missed something out: jugula fangs, kinrey secretion, goo?’
    ‘No. That is what I don't understand, there is nothing toxic in the recipe! This is how it should, actually,  turn out.  But when Bina makes it, it turns into something that can slowly eat it’s way through Tyrakoo leathers.
    ‘I am still not convinced you will get them to eat it even if you do succeed.  No one in their right mind would eat anything that Bina cooked.  Just one look at it and you instinctively know eating goo is a better idea!’
    ‘That pair will eat anything after a few beers.’
    ‘But even drunk they are going to be suspicious if you are in anyway nice to them!  There is no way they will accept any food from you’
    ‘I will trick Bina into getting them drunk first.  I will get her a little tipsy and then mention that Gasket and Ghuiss have been telling everyone that Bina "Drinks like a Matis," and then suggest that she goes and has a drinking competition with them to defend her tarnished reputation.  That way she will help without realising what I am really up to.  If that fails I will just blackmail her into doing it.  She owes me not telling Shammi about her drunken night out in Yrkanis the other week.  Honestly, I have no idea why she is so obsessed with HA boots.  It’s shameful!  Of course, hopefully, there will be no need to blackmail her.  I want to save that for a rainy day.’
    ‘Hmmmmmm. I am not convinced this will work. It seems rather complicated.’
    ‘Don’t worry, once they are drunk I will find some way of getting it to them. I am pretty sure I can trick Ozelott into giving it to them. They would never suspect her of anything.’
    ‘Hmmmmmm.  If you say so.  I guess you just have to try again tomorrow, then?’ said Marichia, as she wandered off, quickly, with a large plate of lasagne firmly in her grasp.
    Lacuna glared at Marichia’s back; she was starting to have doubts as to her sister’s sincerity for her culinary failures.  Marichia seemed almost glad they were on an almost exclusive lasagne diet.


[OOC Only the facts have been changed to protect the guilty.]

Last edited by Lacuna (4 years ago)

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