100% OOC post of course, but i didn't know where to post that so sorry to pollute the thread with that :)
Frankly, I didn't have a lot of things to do, so i decided to read your story ...
A little thing about the content : even if Icus doesn't agree to what you say, as long as it's only your personal saying, well you can do it. And you already adressed the issues with your theory if "those against", even if in this case the style is really, really strange (seriously, a text written by "the government and wise homin" together ? Like it's some sort of conspiracy and they meet each other to speak about some drunken Zorai theory ?)
So, for the style now. First of all, use your caps key, please. There is literally no phrase who begins by a capital in your text. Not a single one, and it's a pain in the ass to read :X
Second, there is a lot of typos and/or mistakes in your text ... I have wrote down only some of them, because I found them funny.
First of all, in almost every chapter, you can find that :I never knew the scrolls were secretly sponsorized by the Seamstresses' Guild !
Chapter 1 :This is the first line, of the first post, and there is already a kinda-huge mistake (make should be may). Definitively not serious ...
chapter 5I wonder what does tyrtinists looks like ... Are they Followers of the Great Tyrtin ?
chapter 7Are you sure it ain't homin ?So, reason has a reason ? Wonderful !
Chapter 11Dunno, it's pretty rainy here at the moment
Anyway, finding the text bad or good is more or less subjective, so i won't go further into this. But for the love of good, please read over your text before publishing them.
Frankly, I didn't have a lot of things to do, so i decided to read your story ...
A little thing about the content : even if Icus doesn't agree to what you say, as long as it's only your personal saying, well you can do it. And you already adressed the issues with your theory if "those against", even if in this case the style is really, really strange (seriously, a text written by "the government and wise homin" together ? Like it's some sort of conspiracy and they meet each other to speak about some drunken Zorai theory ?)
So, for the style now. First of all, use your caps key, please. There is literally no phrase who begins by a capital in your text. Not a single one, and it's a pain in the ass to read :X
Second, there is a lot of typos and/or mistakes in your text ... I have wrote down only some of them, because I found them funny.
First of all, in almost every chapter, you can find that :
it seams that only a small number of homins
Chapter 1 :
(ooc) these are the stories, this is part of a large project you make have read about, it's my hope that it'll go somewhere. (ooc)
chapter 5
the kami, karavan, tryker, zorai, fryos, matis, marauders, rangers, tyrtinists
chapter 7
the wise men
we feel that the reason that the wise homins and those in the highest of power view the scrolls as worthless has a reason
Chapter 11
we have found that some scrolls are only one word of text, weather this
Anyway, finding the text bad or good is more or less subjective, so i won't go further into this. But for the love of good, please read over your text before publishing them.
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